Forget the levels of hell taught by some religions or the mythological labyrinth of Greek origins.

Forget the levels of hell taught by some religions or the mythological labyrinth of Greek origins. The Ridgeview staff has just survived the Customer Service line at Sam's Wholesale. Oh my word!

The idea was that I would drop two of our guys off to renew our membership after lunch. A simple procedure, I thought. The form was already completed. The check was made out for the correct amount. So the two of them slipped inside while our media guy and I sat in the truck and talked. After several minutes, I get a phone call. It's Eddie. They need me inside because they can't make changes without the primary account holder. (How I got that honor, I'm not quite sure.)

Upon arriving at the desk, I am informed by representative that Eddie is listed as my spouse. Okay, this is ridiculous. I mean, I like the guy and everything, but we ain't sharing the same refrigerator if you know what I mean. After making that quick correction, I am informed that our account has been set up illegally. Apparently this is a great offense on par with climbing the perimeter fence at the White House. The only way we can set it up is to add more free cards and rearrange the way the primaries and secondaries are set up. Keep in mind, the account has been set up this way for almost five years now. This isn't a new account. It's been in their computer this way almost as long as I have been standing in their customer service line.

I'll shorten the story for you.

Before it's all over with, I am told the only way to set up the account is for Pam (Eddie's wife) to be living with me. I politely inform my new friend (I figure after 30 minutes with her that we could at least say we are friends. I feel like we go way back) that I already have a wife and four kids, I don't need another person living in my house. She didn't like my humor.

There it is. That's my afternoon at Sam's. Nothing particularly spiritual aside from the great amounts of patience I developed inside the "warehouse." But while I was at Sam's, it turned Fall, my kids promoted a grade in school and my wife and I celebrated our fifteenth anniversary. But seriously, we will get our wholesale prices doggone it.