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Thursday, October 26, 2006

You find God in the most interesting places. Some times we try to limit Him to a verse of Scripture or the words of some great speaker (testifying on behalf of all speakers, that's a lot of pressure). But God can use anyone or anything to challenge us, direct us or encourage us. Take today for instance. It's yucky here--cloudy, cool, off-and-on rain showers. It is a great day to just stay in bed. Especially when you wake up lonely again. So, I got the kids ready, got them off to school and then crawled back in bed for a few minutes with no real intention of forcing myself out of bed. I didn't really want to sleep so I turned on the TV. I have no idea what movie it was nor do I want to take the time to recount all the details. I was playing through my mind the things I know to be true. "I need to be up and busy. I have a really good life. There are others who need me and count on me and I cannot let them down. God will get me through these moments if I will just ask." Nothing seemed to be motivating me to move. I had even had a friend who e-mailed this morning to say the same kind of things were plaguing her (this one's for you "A"). Then, from the screen spoke God. Not really, I haven't completely lost it. But from the mouth of this old actor came the thing I needed most this morning. Here's what he said, "You know why so many people are afraid of dying Joey (the name is irrelevant here, he meant Ridley). They are afraid of dying for the same reason so many people are afraid of living...they're not sure where they're going." Now, you might read that and go "whoopee". No big eye-popping statement. I already knew that. Me too. The difference is that, at that moment, I needed to be reminded that I do know where I am going. I know how to get there. I know what God wants for me and from me and (this part the actor didn't say, God picked it up from there) I've got absolutely no reason not to live. I'm not talking about walking, breathing, eating and sleeping. I'm talking about really living. I'm talking about knowing where I'm going and heading there full speed. I love the way that Peterson puts it in his paraphrase of the Bible called The Message. "Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him....fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out." Romans 12:1-2 MSG
Does that mean I'm good? That everything is fixed just because some kooky actor had a good line in a movie? N0. Wish it did. But what it does mean is that God wants all of me, not just the pretty pictures. He wants the days that are gloomy and sad. He wants me when I'm alone. He wants me when I'm frustrated. Whatever the case, He wants me. And because He does, I know exactly where I'm going. I have no fear of death. No fear of being alone. No fear of being single the rest of my life or raising two kids on my own. And, if God should choose, I don't have to be afraid of marrying again when the time comes. I don't want to get caught "not living life" when there is so much life left to live. So, I will choose to embrace God. I will choose to offer ALL of me to him today and every day. I will not be afraid to let Him see all of me (He already does anyway). And I won't be afraid to go back to bed, watch another old movie and continue this conversation we started. It may well have been the most "spiritual" part of my week. Hope you have yours!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am glad you are honest, as this is how I felt this morning. But, luckily God does want me even if no one else does, and He is there when no one else is. Life alone is a struggle sometimes, but God continues to show up and remind me that I am not alone, even when the ache in my heart is so big I can barely breathe. He always fills it. Even if it isn't the way I want it, it is His way which is always perfect. LB