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Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Trusting my kids to God

DISCLAIMER: Over the last several months, I have been encouraged to write regularly about the accident from 2004. I am working my way through writing a book about the incident. So, every Tuesday, I've taken the opportunity to write, remember and share snapshots of that tragic event.

One of the important questions that faced me as we picked up the pieces that Spring was how I would parent my kids going forward. I had just buried one child, we had lost another a few years back to a miscarriage. So there were many thoughts rolling in my head about losing another child and trying to shelter them from everything.

I can't lie. There was a temptation to pull them close and not let them out of my sight. There was a strong desire to let no one else near them, to believe that I was the only one who could care for them like they needed to be cared for.

My sisters reminded me otherwise. I think it was at different times that they came to me (obviously led by God) and told me that "sheltering" the kids wasn't an option. They were right. I had to be reminded these kids aren't mine in the first place. God has entrusted them to me to care for them but ultimately they are His.

As their father, I can do everything I want to love them, guide them and protect them...but at the end of the day, it is all up to God. He is the one that cares for them most (based on how much I love them, I know He must love them beyond my comprehension). Leaving them in His hands--after I've done all I can do--is the best option for their future.

It was true then, it's still true.

I have to keep repeating that to myself as Harrison gets ready to drive. Have I taught him how to brake properly? How to put on a seat belt? Not to play the radio too loud or to look away from the road for too long? Those questions have replayed in my mind a thousand times this last year as he has worked on his driving.

Now, it's God's turn. I must do with Harrison (and my other three kids) what I did for both of them after the wreck. I must guide them, pray for them and then....turn them loose into the hands of an all-knowing, deeply compassionate God. He will take care of the rest.

Can I just encourage you to do the same with your kids? All of our kids go through junk. It's part of living on this earth. They may not have lost a mom or a brother but their junk is just as deep, just as painful. Maybe they didn't get picked for the team. Maybe their friends made fun of them. Maybe they failed at their first chance at something. Maybe mom or dad walked out a long time ago and they have made that a personal thing. Whatever your child faces, they should never have to face it alone. But it's not you they need. It's Jesus.

Give your children what they need to learn, to grow, to prosper. Then give them to God knowing His desires for them are far greater even than yours. (Ephesians 3:20).


Diana said...

what a great post. Knowing I'm not the only one who gets nervous in the letting go and letting God process helps.
Our oldest will be 17 on the 19th and he is a great driver and yet I haven't insured him because that way won't be driving without us. I also feel like if they are out of my sight than they can't be close enough for me to protect. I struggle with this. For heavens sake what am I gonna do when he is older, I'm not so sure he would appreciate me taking him to college.:) thanks for sharing so openly. I needed Ephesians 3:20 more than I knew

elizabeth mitchum said...

Thanks, Ridley....I am always so encouraged when I check into your blog. I read earlier about Mr Frank and Ms Ruth; what a testimony to God's model for marriage. I am so grateful for the opportunity to love and marry my very best friend, Tim.

Trusting My Kids to God spoke powerfully to me. Yes, my Girls have "some junk" from their past but both are convinced, by the power of Christ, that THEY are not junk. My stepsons lost their mother and will forever carry that burden. But, praise God,that loss does not define them. It is my God-given responsibility and joy to love and care for each of them. By God's grace, as parents we give our children roots while at the same time nurturing the wings that will help them fly. The rest is up to God and I trust HIM to be faithful to complete Them!