I kind of feel like Moses sometimes. Not the strong, confident leader Moses. More like the one in Exodus 3 who questioned God's call. "Are You sure it's me You called Lord? Am I really the one You want at this burning bush? Isn't there someone else that could do this better, faster, cleaner than I can? Wouldn't you be better off if I was back teaching school and coaching while someone else ran this ship?"
It's times like those (maybe you have them too) when we must fix our gaze steadfastly on God. I'll never be good enough for this "call" God has placed on me. Neither will you. That's why a gaze that is fixed steadfastly on Him is our only hope. It's the Cross forgiving you and me, giving us what we need to get back on our feet time-after-time and live this life righteously.
We read this in Proverbs 24:16:
For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.
How did the righteous man respond? He got up. He bounced back. He didn't wallow in his mistake and question his identity or his call. He took his failure to His father and came back each time to reclaim what he had lost. Moses did the same thing. Killed an Egyptian and got back up. Doubted God but got back up. Struck a rock when God commanded differently. But he got back up. That's only possible when the righteous are living a life that gazes intently on God.