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Monday, April 11, 2011

Looking back

It's been seven years. Hard to believe. I was sitting in my office this morning trying to remember where I was and what I was doing seven years ago today. It was Easter Sunday morning. I preached our services that morning and went home and crashed, exhausted from conversations and well-wishers and...well, everything.

Just two days before, my life had been literally smashed by the fall out from a major car accident. My best friend was gone. My youngest child lay in a hospital three hours away, just a few days away from his own death. My other two children were wrecked by the events of the weekend. And there I was, sitting in my recliner/bed, asking questions of God that I never dreamed I would have to ask. Honestly, I was too wrapped up to even know what was going on around me. I wasn't the only one hurting. There were church members, friends and, of course, the family--both mine and Sarah's--that were destroyed by these events.

I guess that's one of the reasons I have enjoyed so much reading Lisa's blog (read it here. It's worth the read) over recent weeks. It's been such a blessing, such an eye-opening thing to read what other's thoughts and feelings have been these last 7 years.

I will tell you this. I've learned more about myself than I care to know and more about God--who I desire to know deeper than I ever have. Sarah and Josh's death put a hunger in me to know God more than before. I had to know this God who saw more in me than I saw in myself. This God who loves me and my kids deeply enough to leave nothing to chance. I'm only a few steps further in this journey than I was seven years ago. In fact, I'm disappointed that I'm not further. I'm evaluating who I am, where I am and where God desires me to be. I'm hoping that 7 years from now I'll find that I've moved a lot closer to him and a lot further from myself.


roland said...

We have all come a long way the last 7 years.....some big steps and some baby steps....your leadership at Ridgeview tells me you have come much closer to God than you think.....I know I can see it and I can hear it each Sunday

Anonymous said...

I check your blogs each and everyday. You are such an encouragement to me and make me just push forward. I'm in a Discipleship college and love every minute but, sometimes when I feel like 'what else do I have to give?!' the Lord always speaks in such a still way. Keep spreading Gods love and light around this world. If your story and love changes just one person it's worth it right? Then know it's very well worth it! I've recently started reading Lisas blogs too, and love the interviews. Wow! I pray for your family all the time and know that Gods got even bigger things for each and everyone of you! Love, Ashley Purvis