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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Making future plans

Got a new question last evening. Honestly, its the first time I have ever been asked this question by someone outside of my family. It's from another friend of mine here in Franklin who has been through a similar situation as mine. She, like me, lost a spouse. God has blessed her with a wonderful new husband to share the remainder of her life with. She feels doubly blessed to have found this new love but also carries with her the love she had for her first husband. Her question is a great one.

When you think ahead to when your own life is over, what are your wishes regarding who you will be buried beside? Have you talked about that with Lisa? Should we even be worried about this?

Another wonderful question. You know, the truth is that most people don't like to think about death and dying. It's not the most comfortable of subjects. I thank God that Sarah and I talked about it before she was killed in the accident. Because I have been through this before, I am more open to these discussions with Lisa. So, yes, we have talked about this to some degree. (It's obviously not Lisa's favorite subject).

I guess ideally you'd never have to deal with questions like this in life. Every marriage would end on time and work out so that no spouse ever had to worry about such questions. But we do so we deal with them. I have told Lisa that I really don't care. Sorry to take the easy way out on this one but I really don't. My personal belief is that it won't make any difference any way. I'll be so far gone from this place that what plot of turf contains my remains just isn't a real high priority for me. I do personally have a plot next to Sarah and Josh that was purchased at the time of the accident before I met Lisa. (I only bought three on the belief that Harrison and Abby would grow, get married and be buried with their families later on).

There is a side of me that would love to be buried in a big old field with all of the rest of my family around me. There is also a realistic side of me that says by the time this happens (I plan on living another 40 years at least), I could be living in Key Largo, Florida and obviously won't care to be moved all the way back to Middle Tennessee to be buried.

I've jokingly told Lisa that the ideal solution for me is this: cremate me. Take one third of my ashes and sprinkle them on her grave, one third to be sprinkled on Sarah's grave and one third to be sprinkled at the 50 yard line of Sanford Stadium in Athens. I simply don't have this concern at the top of my list--as you can probably tell.

Now, for those of you who may be giving this a lot more (serious) thought, I don't know that there is a proper answer, one that is generally considered to be acceptable. I think it's a personal question where the answer depends on things like history, relationships, locales, etc.

No, I haven't given it much consideration. My primary concern has been less about where my, remain than it is about where the souls of the people I know go to spend eternity. For that question, there's only two choices...and the second one is not a destination that any of us want to face.

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