I had someone ask me the other day "Is there anything good going on with you? I mean, I read your blog and I hear about your struggles but surely something good is happening that you can talk about." Okay, fair enough. I'll give equal time to all the good things that God is doing with me. Like today, something absolutely amazing happened today. It's not like it hasn't happened a million times before--over 14,500 times to be more precise! I got up. Before you laugh and scoff at this idea, getting up is something that's very important to me. I like getting up (on most days). I like walking through the house God has blessed me with and cooking breakfast (yes, I can cook a few things). I love opening God's word and finding out what new things He wants to show me each day. I love being able to holler upstairs to my beautiful kids and listen to their sleep voices as they stir from their sleep. I love those blurry eyed kisses I get from them every single day. There is nothing in this world that I love more than being able to walk through this world with all of its good and its bad. Nothing in this world. But I can tell you that there is a place that I long for more than this. A place that, someday, I'll get to hang out with all three of my kids and my beautiful wife. It's a place being prepared for me and it's grand. But till then, I don't want to take for granted the privilege of standing in line, waiting my turn, banging my toe on the side of the bed and flossing my teeth (I still have every one of them). I thank God--though it's not nearly often enough--for every gray hair, every lost hair, every achy bone and the fact that my kids think I'm ancient. I hope I some day live up to that description. This life is not all that there is BUT it is all that there is for now. And, even though it has had more than it's share of rough places, it is a good life and I am very blessed. I will choose to make the most of these days--even the worst ones. As I approach the third anniversary of the accident that ripped apart my family and cost my kids there mother and little brother, I see that I have two options. Live like there is no tomorrow with a grim outlook and a grimmer disposition. Or, as I prefer, remember that I still have days to use for God's glory beginning with this one. I hope you will choose to do the same. Because, no matter what you have been through, you have come "through" and this next minute could be your very best. I choose to believe it can!

Because I've played sports most of my life, I've been taught to deal with pain, to play through the hurt until the game is finished. Not always the wisest advice from coaches but it was the consensus opinion nonetheless. It was an attempt to train young athletes to take the nicks and bruises that come with competition and to keep pushing forward. I think those years prepared me for what I go through now. I can't tell you the number of times I have thought it would be easier to "sit this one out" or to walk away because it would be easier (at least it seemed that way). I examine my heart--all the nicks and cuts and bruises that I have received in this life--and think to myself how great it would be to step away and allow some healing. While I have taken the time to do that, I've more-often-than-not pushed myself to stay in the game. As Paul the Apostle would put it, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Pressing on. On many days it has become my life's mantra. Ignore the pain. Forget the nicks. Train your body to keep moving forward and know that there will be a reward, a prize for those who do not stop the marathon. I guess the up side to it all is this...my longing for heaven increases more and more with every passing day. I can't wait till that day where the bruises and hurts will be healed. Where I won't have to listen to anyone else's opinions of my life or their judgments of my actions. A place where the burdens I bear presently will become long-forgotten memories of a world that used to be. So I keep pressing, keep pushing, keep longing for the "more" that is to come. I will enjoy the moments God gives me here--love my kids, love my job, love the friends He has blessed me with--but will always know that this world cannot compare to the place I long to be.

If you're like me, you have probably uttered the words, "If I had only known..." at some point in your life. In fact, I've probably done it more times than I care to admit. The implication is that, with some kind of foreknowledge of the situation, I might have altered my behavior to choose some different path. Lord knows that there is much about my life that I would have changed had I known ahead of time what the repercussions would be. Like that spring day when I let my wife take the wheel for 30 minutes and drive us home. "If I had only known..." How many times have I spoken those words regarding that one monumental event in my life. If I had only known... That came to mind as I read this verse yesterday morning: "O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." The amazing thing about God is that he did know. Long before a single star had been flung into place or one drop of moisture had fallen to the earth. Long before he ever placed Adam or Eve or you or me into existence, he knew everything about us and the choices we would make. He knew the times we would frustrate him, the times we'd make the wrong choice or fail completely. He also knew the times we'd cause him to laugh with pleasure or smile with delight. He knew his Son would have to die. And never once in that Holy, perfect and amazing mind of his did he utter the words "If I had only known..." More appropriately, I think he might say, "Because I did know, I came..." And because he did know and he did come, I don't have to know everything. I can lay my hopes and dreams and ambitions and family and kids and life before this God who knows. I can trust that he has the best interest of us ALL at heart. That he loves you and me desperately and that he desires what's best for the whole world. I can trust that knowledge and know for myself that, even though I cannot change that spring day in 2004, I can change my life for today and tomorrow so that I do not miss what God has left for me.

I think God gets blamed for a lot of stuff. My personal pet peeve is the person who proclaims confidently, "God told me to do this or that." The whole time they are talking, I am usually thinking to myself, "There's no way that God told you that. It's a complete contradiction of His Word or His character." Don't get me wrong. I definitely believe that most Christ followers hear from God on a regular basis--we just choose to ignore him. I also believe there are those people who hear from God so easily and freely. It is as if they had their own personal headset with God's instructions piped in directly to them (boy, how I'd give anything to have one of those). But it really bothers me when someone--be it a terrorist, a pastor or some well-meaning individual--places the blame on God for their misdirected passions. I've actually had young couples sit in my office and tell me that God told them it was okay to live together before being married (and other crazy stories). What are we thinking? How can we take the name of God and pair it with messed up philosophies or selfish agendas? Do we not understand the serious nature of a statement that is preceded by "thus saith the Lord?" (although I hope none of you really talk like that). I desire so deeply to know God's instructions for my life. I want so much to parallel my life with His, to let my desires be a pure reflection of Him. Would you do me a favor? Would you keep your personal "interpretations" of God to a minimum so that the serious followers of Christ can seek out what He is really saying to us? In fact, if we all focused on what God really said to us in His word, maybe we'd all be better followers, better reflectors, better instructors and better disciples. At least, that's what I hear God saying...

"But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 NLT

I was just watching the rain as it rolled down the window at my office. It's interesting how the individual drops trace their paths across the smooth surface of glass. Each one makes its way until it joins with another to puddle somewhere in the chorus of surrounding drops. I was thinking about how many drops have fallen today, not just on my window, but all over town as the rains have come. It got me thinking about the tears that have fallen across my face these last 2-1/2 years. Just like the drops of rain, there is something cleansing and purifying about the slow release of moisture as it comes from the corner of my eyes. Every drop, numbered by God and felt deeply in His heart, was another step in healing my heart for what is next. It happened again last week as I shared my story with a group of minister's wives at a conference. I could feel my heart changing as I shared how God had carried me through this. Each time I tell the story, it reminds me of how big God is and how good He has been to me. I know He has never left me. I know He has felt the burden of my pain to a greater degree than I can. I know the level of love He has for me and the great things He desires for me. That's why I shared that verse above. When faced with trial (whether it's taking a country for the children of God or guiding your children through unfamiliar territory) you and I are asked day-by-day "Who will you follow?" I can't tell you that there were not times that following my own plan didn't seem more sensible or even easier. I may have even ventured a step or two or one hundred down the path to "my goals" for my family. But I know where the safe place is. I know where it is that my path should lead. I know Who is wiser and stronger and more faithful than all others. For me and my kids, it's a no brainer (and that's exactly how I feel some times, like a "no brainer"). I will choose this path I walk not from ignorance, on the contrary, but from experience with the One I follow. He is worth the journey, worth the trust, worth every mile I must walk and every valley I must enter. I choose only to be obedient.