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Monday, April 12, 2010

Can it be six years?

I'm looking out my office window this morning. It's a gorgeous spring day--the kind that makes you wish you didn't have a job and that you could sit outside and enjoy the warm air and incredible sights that come with a day like today. For me, it brought back a lot of memories. It was a day much like this one (six years ago this past Friday) when my life was changed so dramatically by the accident that took my wife and son. In fact, six years ago today, we had just completed Sarah's memorial service at our church in Douglas and were preparing for her funeral in Franklin.

A lot has changed in those six years. I don't even think I can comprehend how much that week changed my life. Burying a wife and son leaves scars that don't go away. As I have told many people over the years, that kind of loss is much like losing an arm--you never forget that it's gone, you simply learn to live your life without it.

But God has been so good. He has carried me, encouraged me and sustained me. He has given me friends beyond number and a platform on which to bring good from my son's death. He has opened doors of influence that I would have never had. He has loved on Harrison and Abby and kept their lives as normal as possible as they continued to cope with the death of their mom and brother. Most important, he has restored my family by giving me a beautiful wife and two amazing daughters (isn't that just like a giving God? Where there was once one child He has given two.)

It is, indeed, hard to believe it's been six years. With each year that passes, it seems more and more like the cruelest of bad dreams. But it's not. And God knows best. I trust that and live my life under the shelter of that promise. I don't know what emotions may play out as I approach the anniversary of Josh's death this Wednesday (or the rest of my life for that matter). I simply rest in the arms of an unfailing God who loves me better than I can understand. I pray that you know that promise for yourself today.


Traci Jenkins said...

thank for writing this entry. prayed for you today as I vividly remember that was such an honor to talk about Sarah Ellen at her service...once again - you are living, breathing proof that God's is faithful even when it doesn't make sense. I will be praying for you, harrison, and abby all day today.....

roland said...

I always marvel at your faith when the anniversary rolls around....You have been an example for all with your strength and trust in our heaveanly Father...sure I know there are still tough days for you and for all of us but when I think about that weekend and look at you and see how much you have accomplished because of your faith it makes me very proud to call you my friend and pastor

Missy Tomberlin said...

It sure doesn't seem like it has been six years! I still miss them and yall!! I give God all the glory that I was able to have Sarah, Josh, and your whole family in my life for the time I did. It meant alot to me!! You are a wonderful person and deserve all the best in life..... And look around you God agrees. Please give everyone my love.